> How to fix lack of communication in a relationship? - Communication Etiquette

How to fix lack of communication in a relationship?

How to fix a lack of communication in a relationship

Find a suitable time and place to talk: Do not talk about problems when we are in the supermarket making the purchase, or when we are driving or five minutes before leaving for work. We have to find time for ourselves, in which we are not angry and be able to express what we think and feel trying to have the least possible interruptions.

Say what is specific: If we ask our partner to change some aspect, we cannot formulate it in an abstract, vague and inaccurate way, for example: "you never have time for me." The same if we send a message such as: "I would like us to share more time together, we could have dinner from 10 to 11 when the children sleep and so we can chat relaxed." This last objective is concrete and specific, it will work for you.

Be brief: Use short and clear sentences. People who go around, gloat in the talk and lengthen it, cause the time of the other person's ability to listen to decrease so that our partner will not be able to maintain attention and disconnect from our speech at some time.

Be flexible and accept constructive criticism: whether partial or total. It is advisable to collect a critique to improve, interpret it as a way for a relationship to be of higher quality.

Use positive language: Use good words to express desires, feelings and start a conversation like this, for example, "I'd like to", "It would be great if"

Mutual agreements: It is advisable to take decision with the mutual agreement and start a conversation like"what do you think yes?", "What if we try to do?". And finally, express what we do like about our partner and what we do not. 

With love it is not enough, the relationship must be built day and day, and one of the means that we human beings have to express and receive Love is the word. Our partner is not "fortune teller" and many people have this distorted idea of ​​Love, they think that if their partners love them, they must know their desires and anticipate them, and interpret that if it is not so, it is because they do not want them. This is a serious mistake because if we don't express what we want and what we don't, our partner won't know.

Communication can become a space in which we can express, understand and share our life and emotions, as well as those of our partner. It allows us to move forward, grow and meet the person we fell in love with and one day made us special.

Ways to improve communication in a relationship
So you are happy with each other but sometimes your communication becomes worse and you want to improve it. Here are some tips to improve it.

Think like a team: As a couple, you have to think like a team. When there are conflicts, sometimes we tend to blame the other person. This causes us to lose the perspective that we are not rivals, but that we are on the same side. Let us always keep this in mind and we will face the problems in a much healthier way. 

Listen to understand: If we do not listen to the other person, we cannot understand their point of view. This does not mean that we will be in your favor, but only by listening can we negotiate and reach an agreement. Otherwise, there will be no understanding and the problem will become entrenched. 

Film session/Trip or walk/Cook together: You can chat with your partner in a subsequent dialogue about the plot values, the most interesting characters, the emotions of the outcome or any subjective assessment. Sometimes, it is advisable to mark the distance from the usual routine to meet your partner in a different scenario and to relive the passion in the couple. Have a walk together and talk while walking through a green area. The home becomes a stage of rest and leisure in which to enjoy activities as simple as preparing new recipes. So you can cook something together it will help you to increase your love.

Master the art of discussion: It is advisable to have discussions with a cold head and not with hot blood. You must be in control of yourself in order to make the best possible choices when discussing. One word too much can unnecessarily unbalance the situation. Keep in mind that in everyday life things can be said or done that the other can take personally, since they can touch sensitive points, and this causes the couple to react defensively. It is important that you identify the moments in which either of you begins to be ruled out of your impotence and react from there, to immediately stop the discussion, to prevent the situation from escaping unnecessarily, and say things that you will regret later.

Causes of lack of communication in a relationship

Passive-aggressive attitude: Passive-aggressive communication can significantly harm the couple in times of conflict. The passive-aggressive attitude is based on appearing composure, a calm expression, a moderate tone of voice, and making it look like nothing happens when we are actually irritated and let you know indirectly and ambiguously.

If you are able to keep calm or calm during discussions, avoid making your words hurtful directly or indirectly. It is not enough to maintain an adequate tone of voice and good composure when what you say hurts the other person.

Always listen to understand: This problem represents one of the most common for couples and is a consequence of the lack of communication in the relationship. It is common to see how in conversations people listen to respond, rather than to understand the message that the other person wants to send them. The longer this situation continues, the greater the negative consequences it leaves.

When this happens during the discussions, they become increasingly heated, and you never get to a conclusive point, because the members of the couple are constantly interrupted preventing anyone from expressing their views normally.

Anger problems: Difficulties in controlling one's emotions, and especially anger, have a significant impact on the couple's coexistence. This situation generates a vicious circle in which the feeling of anger makes us transmit ideas in the wrong way, and bad communication styles make us feel anger.

The best thing in this situation is to apply a good emotional recognition so that we can know immediately that we are angry and avoid acting or saying things for as long as this emotion is maintained.

Solve problem instead of criticism: Criticisms are linked to problematic circumstances that we have not been able to solve. If you don't like something about your partner, it is best to tell them and find a solution together. But if instead what happens is that you criticize their behavior without having the slightest intention of solving the conflict of origin, it is time to rethink the communicative styles that are handled.

Ignoring your partner: Ignoring the couple is the most obvious lack of communication that exists. This is the total omission of any interest in improving the negative situation that damages the relationship. When we ignore, the implicit message we are sending is that we are not interested in doing something to improve the functioning of the relationship.

Disrespect: The offenses against the couple only make the initial situation worse. Disrespecting each other while we have an argument is the equivalent of putting more wood in the fire. We generate a much more tense environment where anger and frustration become masters of the moment.

Stubborn attitude: Not giving the arm to twist is one of the things that further away us from proper communication with our partner. Sometimes, it is better to lower our guard and accept that perhaps we have acted exaggeratedly in some situations.

Doing this does not imply weakness or submission, quite the opposite, it reflects that we are mature enough to understand that we are not always right and there are times when we must accept that we were wrong, always learning from our mistakes.

Focus solely on us: While it is true that we must always have self-esteem and not allow our partner to be above our needs, it is also necessary to understand that relationships are a matter of (at least) two people, and we cannot just focus on ourselves.

The ideal is to learn to see the needs of the other as important as well, in order to reach adaptive agreements, which bring benefits to coexistence and create an environment of equality in the couple.

Leave a comment below if you have any question and share if find it helpful.
How to fix lack of communication in a relationship? How to fix lack of communication in a relationship? Reviewed by communication etiquette on 6:27 PM Rating: 5

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